Humbly Silenced

Hi All! Wow, I can't believe it's been 2 weeks since posting last, shame on me!

Lately, my mind has been bursting with topics and issues to write on but my heart and my fingers couldn't do it. Do you ever just get into a funk where you have so much to share but mask it behind a poker face? (Raises hand)

I've felt anxious again lately and have spent several hours praying about it... usually at night when my heart is racing and my mind is running in circles. This world is truly a crazy place; 2011 has proved that again.

My dad has been staying with Dajuan and I the past month and it's just been such a God thing. I've found so much healing in this time with him. I find myself dreading the day he leaves to head back to TN. Funny story, he was scheduled to leave at least two weeks ago but his timing hasn't exactly matched God's, every time he thinks it's time to go, something comes up and he can't (YES). Everyday we learn more about each other, I peel another layer back and most importantly I feel nurtured as any daughter yearns to feel. We have spent hours talking, playing cards, listening and giving advice but mostly just laughing.

We were sitting around flicking through channels Saturday morning when we came across the breaking news about the tragedies in AZ. My heart hurt immediately... politics aside. As most of you know I don't shy away from a good debate or heated conversation but in light of what has happened to these innocent human beings, I never once thought to blame political rhetoric. I do not want to play the blame game, nor will I. I want to focus on the families grieving, and heroic men and women who played a huge role is saving lives.

I am disgusted at those who within 15 minutes of hearing of this lunatics shooting spree automatically put blame on anyone but the shooter. The truth is, guns don't kill, people do. This deranged young man needs to be held responsible and him alone! Yes, our country may be divided by opinions and at the polls but that in no way should be to blame for violence. Let me make it clear, I am not a huge fan of Sarah Palin but I in NO WAY believe she had anything to do with this. It saddens me.

I've read every article I can find on Saturday's tragedy as well as watched endless videos and clips from shows. I've become consumed with this... I can't figure out why? I do know that it has nothing to do with politics. I truly believe that my heart wants to learn more and more to try to understand why this world/country is the way it is. We live in such a cruel, demanding, entitled society. All I can do is pray for those families, victims, the shooter's family, and our entire country.

One may argue we need logic right now, I argue we need Jesus.

xO. Abby