Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Finding Rest

It's hard to believe that summer is nearly over. It pains me to even write it. It's been a full and amazing few months at our house. This being the first summer in our neighborhood on the beautiful west side of Michigan, we have really been able to explore all it has to offer.

It's no secret our family (yes, you too Dajuan) loves the beach, in particular Lake Michigan. I've started realizing that when my kids get older and look back on their childhood, Lake Michigan will be a huge part of it. Childhood memories galore. It's special here. The shoreline is so welcoming. I take the boys after work, on weekends, at night, in the morning... We've done it all. Each time we go, their love for it grows.

Boat rides. Skipping rocks. Eating chips with sandy hands. Holding our breath under the water. Walking the beach for hours. Jumping off the boat and swimming to shore. These small but meaningful memories are building. 

I'm so thankful to have such an amazing 'backyard' to build these memories in, but at what cost? As a parent, I'm down right tired. I always say the beach restores me but it also depletes me. Not the beach itself, but the trip there. The unloading and loading. The mounds of wet laundry. The endless snacks and moldy coolers. It's a process but one I'm willing to take.

The past few days I've suffered from severe headaches. I'm not really sure what has brought them on.. anxiety, exhaustion, the weather.. a combination, who knows? What I do know is, I will find my rest. My "to-do" list is long. My urge to want to ditch "real-life" and head to the lake is undying.  But right now, in the middle of this crazy week, I will find rest. Maybe grace will meet me on my drive to Muskegon tonight, while heading to the beach. Maybe it will meet me while packing in my quiet house. Maybe it's already met me and I'm too busy trying to find it, that I've missed it.  Sometimes rest which I like to think of as grace escapes me simply because I like to be in control of me, which never ends well. 

While doing devotions this morning I realized, I look for rest in the wrong places. I think to myself, "If I just get a 10 minute nap, I'll be ready to go." Or, "If I just get the dishes done, laundry folded and walk the dog, I can rest." Or, (this happens daily),  "If I keep my oils with me, I can combat the headache I know I'm going to get." The problem is, I'm writing my own story. 

I feel like God is urging me to consciously work to find my rest in Him. My security in Him. I know that the memories made are worth every eye-twitch, headache, and anxiety ridden moment, but what if I walked in step with Him, how would my day unfold?

Where do you find your rest


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