Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Dazed & Confused

Hi World! It's Wednesday, which means it's not Friday.. so technically, I'm not happy. Work is so slow and boring. I want more. I need more. I'm craving a challenge, more money, and feeling worthwhile. I'm sure many of you have taken jobs because they are avilable but realize you have settled. I know my hand is in the air, I'm one of you. At this time in my life, I know that working is a priority, so that justifies my reason for being unhappy with what I'm doing, right?

I've been wrestling with the idea of being a stay-at-home mom again until I find the right job for me? It's something I ponder into often. I hate the fact that Braylon is learning his colors from a daycare teacher, while I sit at this desk all day. Dajuan and I have discussed me staying at home again but just aren't comfortable with the idea. It is a secure paycheck and right now, we need stability; however, does money justify happiness? In today's world money is everything, right? I feel so torn and angered about it all. God will always provide; my happiness means more to me...I think. Why did I even go to college? Why put in the late nights and long hours if I can't relish in an end result?

Yes, I'm only 24, but I have responsibilities, dreams, goals and a son depending on me. I want more. God knows my desires and my needs. He knows my faults and what my weaknesses are. I keep telling myself that he has me here for a reason. It always comes back to the same verse: You may not know now what I am doing, but later you will understand. I want God to listen! Why won't he bless me with a clear answer? These struggles are constant battles that I have within... Aren't you constantly struggling with a battle that you feel you can't win?

In my case, there is one thing that is clear... I want to feel like I have a purpose, what that purpose is, I still don't know. Maybe it is to be a stay-at-home mom...pray for me would you? I've said it before, but I'll say it again... I have been digging deep with God in the past few months; I want to feel his presence. I want him to know I'm here on this stranded island ready to be rescued! Life is too short, to be anything but happy. I'm hoping to have a conclusion to my questions soon, I just don't want to make any rash decisions and hate myself for it in the end.

On a more upbeat note, I've taken the role of Birch Run's 8th Grade Girl's volleyball Coach for Fall 2010. Our practices started last week... wow am I in for a busy couple of months! So far so good; I have 27 girls, two teams and lots of attitude! I like it though; it's been good for me. I enjoy helping them, and giving them self-confidence. It's fun to watch them learn and try to understand the game. I'm hoping for an exciting season! I'll post lots of pictures as the season unfolds.

Here's to hoping that the last few weeks of summer are grand! Cheers!

Abby Marie

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

These are the days...

I hate that I haven't blogged in a while... I think about doing it all the time, my fingers just haven't had the ambition. I've been preoccupied with working two jobs, a baby name Braylon and twitter.. haha!

This past weekend Emily flew back into town for Becky's wedding. We were both bridesmaids and it was honestly one of the best weekends we have had in SO SO LONG! We had so much one on one time together and it was just so great to chat in person! Here are a couple photos of all of us from this weekend (More to come, just have to find the time to upload the camera)

I cannot believe I turn 24 this weekend, where does time go? This weekend we aren't doing anything too special, just hanging out. I'm hoping to go to the beach tomorrow and let Braylon do his thing in the water. Then on Sunday we are having some family over to our new place to BBQ and enjoy the last bits of summer.. sigh.

I hate that summer is coming to an end but the only good thing about fall is, FOOTBALL! My baby brother made Varsity this year, so proud :) I won't lie, I'm pretty excited about watching him play on Friday night under the lights.

Don't you think it'd be cute if I got a personalized outfit for Braylon to wear each Friday to Grant's games? I'm definitely going to check that out, soon!

Even though summer is coming to a close, I still have a count down of events coming up!!

August 28, Dajuan and I are headed to Saugatuck for the annual Margarita Party @ the Yacht Club... hard to believe this will be our 3rd year attending! I'm bartending again, it's always a good time and we get to spend the entire weekend on Lake MI, with family and friend, what's better than that?

The very next weekend, Braylon & I are hopping a jet plane down ATX to see my sissy in the deep south! She has our weekend all mapped out for us::: full of, pedicures, pools, site-seeing and margaritas... YES PLEASE!!

After we head back to MI from a weekend get-a-way, I have my brother's football games to look forward to as well CMU's Homecoming football game... all of my college roomies and I are going to pack up and spend the weekend together. Can you say, EXCITED!? I haven't been to CMU since I graduated in 2008, it is well overdue!!

Before I know it, it will be Christmas again... whew!

I hope everyone's summer has been blessed. I know mine has. God has been working in my life so much. I am continually praying for guidance on my career future, my marriage, my son and my family. I am so thankful to have a relationship with God that is understanding and truthful.

I still have many days that are available; if anyone wants to meet up, go to the beach, go to dinner or have a skype date... CALL ME! Life is too short to wait..

I'll leave you with a recent photo of my handsome man @ church camp with his Auntie.. xoxoxo