So lately I've been really praying that God would make my desire to learn more about him grow. I want my walk with him to flourish and expand. I want to learn more. I want to know what I really believe in. I want to feel his love and show it too... when I say that, I really mean it.
I want to repent. I truly do. I pray each day that God forgives me for all my sins. I want him to wipe me free everyday. My sister mentioned a few nights ago that I start in 1 Peter, claiming that it was an easy read and somewhat relatable and interesting. Finally, I dusted off my personalized bright pink leather-back bible and began to read. I started slow, only reading a few chapters the first night, you know to kind of get my feet wet. Turns out, 1 Peter really spoke to me.
"The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."
I feel that if I can learn to love and show love, my true character and personality will shine. I will let free of over hanging stress and allow God to have his way with me. I'm the type of person who dwells on the little stuff in life. I like to have my life on a strict schedule. I have our bills (checks included) wrote out weeks in advance with sticky notes marked with mail dates. I like to have Braylon's clothes picked out each night before bed and my mine as well. I don't like when things happen unexpectedly. What it comes down to is, I don't like it when I'm not in control.
The truth is, am I ever really in control? My goal is to learn how to love and let go. To be myself and ease up on stressing out on pointless issues. I'm praying that God will allow me to relax enough to see what he is doing in my life.
"God opposes the proud, but gives life to the humble."
My hope is that my walk in faith will only get stronger. I can feel each and everyday my desires becoming more clear. I am a child of God who is slowly but surely finding her way. I find it comforting to look back and see how far I've come and know how far I still have to go.
"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."
Couldn't have said it better myself, thanks Peter! Literally just laughted outloud.
Hopefully everyone has a great weekend! I picked up a couple of shifts at Zehnder's this weekend hoping for some extra money... so much for my weekend! On the bright side my dad is flying in for a few days, can't wait to see him, it's been a while!