Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Simpson Park.

Well I've made it to Wednesday... now I'm just watching the clock, tick tock, tick tock... Ahh, so sleepy today. From the office window is looks nice and sunny, perfect conditions for an afternoon nap!

I cannot believe that it is almost July-- where does time go, honestly? July should be a good month though! As many of you know we head to Church Camp every July and get to spend some quality time with some quality people. "Church Camp" aka, Simpson Park aka Romeo is a place like no other! In all of my 23 years I have never missed a single year. When growing up and through high school I never missed even a day... as I've gotten older with much more responsibilities it's become more of a challenge.

It's amazing to have Braylon attend now. Last year my little three month old baby attended the entire week! Aunt Prudie's cabin is where he took up residence and where he will each year until he heads to the dorms as a 6th grader! Our entire family attends... Great Aunts, Great Uncles, cousins, cousins of cousins, grandbabies...etc. It's an entire week of love love love!

Holy Grounds. If I had to describe Camp in anyway, that's how I would describe it, Holy Grounds. It's a place like no other. It changes people's lives... it surely changed mine. I remember when I asked Jesus into my heart, sixth grade, Hastings House. Hastings House is for the "dormers"... a place we attend each night while the adults are at service in the wretchedly hot tabernackle. I wasn't quite sure what I was doing when I asked Jesus into my heart, I just knew, it was the right thing for me. Thankfully, I did! I look forward to sharing my camp experience with my kids and gradbabies someday. A few years back, my Aunt P bought a cabin at Camp. The Childs family now has place to pass through the generations. It's great!

This July, Braylon is having his dedication the first Sunday at Camp. My sister is flying in and the rest of our family will be there as well... what a great way to start off the week right? Last year, Dajuan wasn't able to go with Braylon and I, so I'm anticipating showing my Hubby how special Simpson Park truly is this time around!

Simpson Park is a campground full of people from all over the place. It's a community of Christians who have shared their walk in Christ together over the years... near and far. Each year as campers, we would make new friends and be reunited with old and spend our week growing together, sharing stories, building trust, and loving God.

I remember growing up, when I would be at home, my friends would ask me about camp. "What do you do there?" "How could 'Church Camp' be so much fun?"... I never had a real response and I never will. When you are in the presence of God and walking on Holy Grounds; you just have to be there, there are no words.. Camp is fun, trust me. It's fun to just be there. Sit around and chat. It's really laid back and offers a plethra of opportunity.

While in college, I didn't view camp the way I typically did before and do now again. I was so mad at God. I had a really hard time even thinking about Simpson Park. Tt was more of a chore to go than anything. I would purposely schedule myself at work, or plan something important that week in order for me to back out on going. I would still go, but only stay a day here and a day there. I didn't want to go, because I knew that if I went I would have to face my issues. Isn't that the truth though? So many times in life, we avoid places or people because of an underlying issue.

For me, I had issues then that I didn't even know at the time. I thought being in college, I could do anything. I let go of who I was. I became a person I wasn't proud of... makes me sick to even think about now. Wow, was I mad. I was so mad at God. I remember driving back and forth to school from home, screaming at God. Cussing his name, yelling at him and telling him he was worthless. I'll admit it. I couldn't understand why God was letting my parents get divorced and why he was taking everything away from me. I thought my world was over and was going to do anything I could to run from it. I was so ashamed and scared.

College is so bittersweet to me. Most of it I can't remember, for many reasons. I feel like my mind has blocked out a huge chunk of my life, due to stress and pain. Another part of my brain can't remember anything due to massive amounts of alcohol and bar nights. At the time, I thought I was going to escape my home life by acting out in my college life. Wrong.

Now, where I'm at today, I've made a mends with God. Not totally, but I'm definitely on my way there. Each day, I try to find the good in life and let go of what's holding me back. I'm not where I want to be yet, but that's okay. I have a lot of shame and guilt, that I have to still work on. My sister always reminds me that God has already wiped my slate clean--- he doesn't even remember what he has already forgiven me for. So why can't I just forget and move on?

For those of you going to Camp this year, let's make it a good one. I'm praying that this will be the year that I find complete healing and will break from these chains once and for all. If you have lasted this long to make it all the way down to the bottom of this post, YAY! Sorry it was more of a journal entry than anything.

Say a prayer, that this year, Simpson Park will continue to change lives, even mine!

ONE Love.

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